Royal watchers across the world were said to be shocked today when the Queen unexpectedly announced a new wave of honours, several months before they were expected.

Explained Royalty expert and historian Professor Ian Mickey, 50, "While there are no rules governing when the Queen dispenses honours and knighthoods, it is usually customary to stick to a certain schedule. But to be honest no one gives a shit about that, it's who she's knighting that's got me confused."

On Wednesday a number of unusual individuals were unexpectedly summoned to the palace by Royal Command. At the head of the party was dub reggae legend Lee 'Scratch Perry', famous producer of the likes of Bob Marley, as well as a reknowned artist in his own right. Sporting a costume-jewlery crown, Perry was interviewed by reporters outside of the palace.

"I build up my power," declaimed Perry, "I'm superpowerful, now - I recieve a message from Jah - God's talking to Scratch, he's saying I'm the Emperor of this... This palace here, it's like a miracle gift for Scratch. It a gift from Jah, he's spoken unto me. I'm going in here and I'm going to take it over."

Perry was followed by a contigenent of Jamacian and British reggae and dub artists, as well as several British hip hop artistes.

"I like, er, re-gay and that rapping music," claimed Royal enthusiast, and webmaster of www.weloveroyalty.com, Jancie Raynor, 47, "and it's nice to see such colourful people in the palace. I don't mean colourful in a racist way, you understand. Some of the clothes these rasterfare people wear are very colourful, aren't they? I'm sure they're all very nice, but I don't know why Her Majesty decided to honour so many of them. Surely they aren't the right sort of people, are they?"

"Peace!" began the Queen, starting the proceedings. Watchers described her attire as "royal but slightly rasta".

"One would first like to begin by thanking all of you for coming down. Respect to all of you. We've been very much enjoying