As I write this, Britain is under quarantine. Exports of meat produce have stopped. Farms and the areas around them have been closed off, and the people living there have been prevented from moving from their homes. People leaving the country have been stopped from taking even sandwiches across the channel tunnel. Why? Well, Europe, obviously. Or at least that's what the farmers are saying.

The reason the nation has been quarantined is actually because of Foot and Mouth disease, but as far as the farmers and the Daily Mail are concerned, it's because of Europe; where the contagion has, naturally, come from. Well, for once they're probably right, in that the disease has probably been brought into the country via Europe. But that isn't the point; the point is that within a few seconds of the outbreak of the disease, the farmers were already blaming other people, rather than taking even a modicum of the blame.

But farmers are filthy. In terms of hygiene, Britain lags behind other countries in Europe. Because of the farmers skimping on hygiene methods, there were several deaths from both salmonella and the human variant of BSE. It was the farmer's bloody fault, and it's no wonder that Europe is suspicious of British meat. Of course they are, it's still probably not safe. However, the BSE 'crisis' wasn't entirely the farmer's fault. True, they were the ones who put brain matter and spinal cord in their burgers, but it was the supermarkets and the consumers who were the ones demanding ever cheaper meat without worrying about the costs.

So what's the solution? Well, according to farmers, it's giving them more money in subsidies, direct from the taxpayer. Farmers receive more subsidies than any other industry in the UK, and yet they're still fucking awful. And yet it apparently has not occurred to them to just give up. Britain is a very small country. We don't have much space, so it seems unsurprising that farming is not very profitable. In small, isolated fields, farming doesn't work very well. So I think they should just stop, or at least stop trying to compete with cheaper imports.

Okay, I have sympathy for people losing their livelihoods due to Foot and Mouth, particularly those smaller farms, or in the tourist industry. And I'm not blaming the farmers for the disease. But the fact is that farming hasn't been any good for anyone, particularly the farmers, for a long time. When people start killing themselves due to stress in any industry, it's time to think maybe things need to change.

Farmers will tell you that farming is an essential component of British society, and without them the 'green fields' of Ye Olde Fucking England would disappear, without them spraying the crap out of them with pesticides. Well, I can think of lots of better ways of maintaining this fictional countryside than giving the farmers million and millions of pounds to lose. I like the countryside, but the last people to care about it are most farmers. As far as they're concerned, it's just there for them to exploit. Which in itself there isn't anything wrong with, it's just that they try and dress themselves up as the righteous defenders of the aforementioned Ye Olde Fucking England. Which they really aren't.

No other industry would still be alive if it was as badly managed and unprofitable as farming. It's purely out of whimsy that the government keep giving money to them. Perhaps if farmers weren't constantly having money thrown at them, then they might start thinking harder about their business. There's a growing market for organic produce, grown or raised locally, but foreign imports are inevitably going to outstrip home grown produce in value for money. That's life.

Because I'm a hypocrite, I share the ideal of  Ye Olde Fucking England just like anyone else. So I'd like to see my unrealistic ideal of farming continue, if only for the benefit of American tourists. But most farmers are not anything to do with that ideal. And I don't feel particularly inclined to pay them my money to spray crap all over Ye Olde England and put spinal cord in my burgers.
 
 

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