THE FUCKING MILLENNIUM
Okay, so the world didn't end, we're still here. It's 2000 years of Christianity, a new millennium, a new century. OR IS IT?

Because there are a few problems with the whole millennium thing. In fact, it might not even be the millenium at all. As there was no year 0 AD, and the date of the birth of Christ is supposed to be on 1/1/1, ie. the start of year 1 AD, before which was the year 1 BC. Therefore the first century AD started on the year 1, which means that 1000 years later would be 1001, not 1000, which means that the next millennia would start on 1/1/1001. And a thousand years after that would be 2001, not 2000. This theory means that the next century doesn't start until next year.

Quite clearly this theory is bollocks, and was invented by astronomers for something to say at Year 2000 parties. Just because the first century was fucked up, it doesn't mean the rest of history should be for evermore; I mean, we have leap days, don't we?, which is a pretty stupid way of doing it, so why can't we just ignore the missing 0 AD?

Another point is that how can it not be the next century, when that's what the date says? It says 2000. As in the 2000s. It does not say 1999 anymore, or 19 anything, which means that it's no longer the 1900s. It's really quite simple. It seems mad to go around writing that date as 1/1/2000, then claming that it is, essentially, 1/11/19100 (ie. one year later than '99).

Furthermore, no more really knows when Jesus was born. As far as I'm concerned, the whole birth of Christ is by far the dodgiest part of the New Testament, except for when St. John smoked too much chronic and wrote "Revelations". There are bits of the bible which stink of shit, and the birth of Jesus is one of them, not just because it was set in a donkey stable. But even if we take it as at least moderately true, then all the signs in it lead modern scholars (and astronomers too, as they haven't got anything better to do) to pretty much only agree on one fact; that the guy wasn't born in 1 AD.

So, it may be 2000 years since the start of the 'first' millennium, and its definitely 1000 from the start of the second, but it probably isn't 2000 years since the birth of Christ. But what the fuck does it matter anyway? The century is not an astronomic event, like a day, a lunar month, or a season, it's just a unit of time, meaningless. We don't celebrate the fact that its been 1,000,000 seconds since the last 1,000,000 so why should we celebrate the fact that it's been 1000 years since the last 1000 years?

Of course, this gets into the sort of bullshit which astronomers probably talk about at parties. Of course we should have celebrated, if only for the fact that it meant we got to see the Israelis shoot down a load of doves over Bethlehem with rockets, to the theme tune from "2001: A Space Odyssey", then leave the survivors of the flock of two thousand to starve or be killed by local cats. It was probably the biggest single act of wanton cruelty to animals, for no purpose whatsoever, that has been committed this millennium; I suppose it's one way to mark the event. From now on, I'm on the side of the Palestinians.